This Father’s Day, we pause to give thanks for fathers and for fatherhood. We praise God for the opportunities we have to serve fathers and support, equip, and encourage them. Read below where each of the men on our staff share a story of fathers they have served recently. Join us in praying for these dads and in praising God for how He is at work when the story of their pregnancy ends as we hope and even when it does not.
The Good, the Grieving, and the Gospel
“What changed your minds?” I asked the young man after he had reported to me that they had decided to keep the baby. He stated, “I finally decided to speak up. I told her that I wanted to parent and that I would do whatever it would take to support her and the child.”
A month before this conversation, this same young man had shared with me that he came to Assurance to learn about the “abortion thing” because his girlfriend was scared that the pregnancy would interfere with college and her future. He explained that he was excited when he first learned about the pregnancy, but that his girlfriend did not want to have a child right now, and he wanted to be supportive of her. He did not want to push her to make a decision that she was uncomfortable with. After he witnessed the ultrasound, he was convinced that he did not want to have an abortion, but he wasn’t sure that he was ready to parent and was nervous about having a conversation with his girlfriend about his desire. I asked permission to share with him a skill that he could use to have the conversation. He agreed and listened. As he left the office that day, he was equipped and more confident to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend.
A week after the initial appointment, I contacted him. He shared that his girlfriend was an emotional wreck and that she kept telling him, “I just need to have an abortion.” He had not shared with her how he was feeling. He was afraid to make things worse. I listened and encouraged him to have the conversation the way that we had practiced it.
A couple of weeks passed, and they both came back to the clinic for a 2nd ultrasound. He explained to me that after we had talked, he told his parents about the pregnancy; they were supportive and encouraging and gave him confidence to speak up. He shared that he and his girlfriend argued for a few days, but after fully weighing their options and hearing each other’s desires, they came to decide that they would parent. This young man spoke up not only for the life of his child, but for the future that he could envision for his family.
By Aaron Bullock |
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| The first time I met “Steve”, he seemed nervous. It is not unusual for our male clients to seem anxious and/or distracted when we first meet them. Most of the time they have come to Assurance in support of their girlfriend, fiancé, or wife, but most of the time they have not planned on being a father.
What made Steve stand out was the way he opened up during our conversation. He was young and inexperienced but was determined to improve his life. He shared that he was looking for work and was uncertain about how he would support a baby, let alone the baby’s mother. He was inquisitive, and he seemed to hang on every word and to genuinely appreciate any advice I could offer. At one point, Steve asked if he could take notes! When at last he returned from witnessing his girlfriend’s ultrasound, he could not stop smiling. He was a father. He wanted to work it out.
But sometimes life does not work out the way we hope or imagine. The next time I met with Steve he had some bad news. His relationship with his girlfriend was “on the rocks.” “There’s no good news to report there,” he informed me. Complicating matters further, she had decided to move forward with an abortion. Steve was disappointed; he did not agree with her choice, but legally there was nothing he could do about it. I listened and expressed my sadness that things had not worked out the way he had hoped. He was grateful for the chance to talk and to process his experience. He did not have a lot of friends with whom he could discuss something like this. Our conversation drifted toward the Gospel. It was an easy transition with Steve and one that he was eager to make. He could not remember the last time he had been able to talk about his faith. It was something he missed; it was another topic his friends had no interest in discussing.
Steve returned to the clinic a few weeks later. He wanted to talk. He stated that he had been processing the abortion over the last few days and that it was a lot harder for him to handle than he had expected—he was more than just disappointed now, he was grieving deeply the loss of this child. He had hopes for the future, but his past refused to leave him alone. We discussed his goals. They were positive and achievable. They would also require some firm foundations upon which to build. I shared with him a story: |
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| Once there were two men who dreamed of building their perfect homes. The first wanted his house to have a beautiful overlook. He built his home on the side of a large mountain and anchored it to the bedrock on which it sat. The second man wanted beach-front property and situated his home on the sand. But then came a great storm… |
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| By now you have probably guessed the conclusion of the parable as well as its source. Steve did too. “Christ,” I concluded, “is the foundation that holds us firm. Christ is the foundation that weathers any storm and supports our hopes and our futures.” I offered Steve an invitation to meet more regularly.
One of the services we provide our clients at Assurance is an opportunity to process the pain of abortion, to discover healing and freedom, and to embrace redemption. We have had the privilege of walking with dozens of women on this journey but have yet to see many men interested in walking that path. Steve is an exception. If you are a “Steve” and have been impacted as a father by abortion, know that we pray for you and would be honored to walk alongside you as you pursue healing. Please continue to pray for us as we serve the many “Steves” who come through our doors. Each one is made in the Image of God, and each one is longing for the life that only Jesus can provide.
By Luke Embree |
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