I Decided to Speak Up
“What changed your minds?” I asked the young man after he had reported to me that they had decided to keep the baby. He stated, “I finally decided to speak up. I told her that I wanted to parent and that I would do whatever it would take to support her and the child.”
A month before this conversation, this same young man had shared with me that he came to Assurance to learn about the “abortion thing” because his girlfriend was scared that the pregnancy would interfere with college and her future. He explained that he was excited when he first learned about the pregnancy, but that his girlfriend did not want to have a child right now, and he wanted to be supportive of her. He did not want to push her to make a decision that she was uncomfortable with. After he witnessed the ultrasound, he was convinced that he did not want to have an abortion, but he wasn’t sure that he was ready to parent and was nervous about having a conversation with his girlfriend about his desire. I asked permission to share with him a skill that he could use to have the conversation. He agreed and listened. As he left the office that day, he was equipped and more confident to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend.
A week after the initial appointment, I contacted him. He shared that his girlfriend was an emotional wreck and that she kept telling him, “I just need to have an abortion.” He had not shared with her how he was feeling. He was afraid to make things worse. I listened and encouraged him to have the conversation the way that we had practiced it.
A couple of weeks passed, and they both came back to the clinic for a 2nd ultrasound. He explained to me that after we had talked, he told his parents about the pregnancy; they were supportive and encouraging and gave him confidence to speak up. He shared that he and his girlfriend argued for a few days, but after fully weighing their options and hearing each other’s desires, they decided that they would parent. This young man spoke up not only for the life of his child, but for the future that he could envision for his family.
By Aaron Bullock