I was 19 years old. I was in my first year of college and in a committed relationship. I felt like God had a good plan for me, and everything was falling into place. Neither of us had much money, and we discovered I was pregnant. The initial reaction was happiness, but it didn’t take long for the reality of our circumstances to set in. We were both Christians, and we knew it was wrong, but we eventually decided to terminate the pregnancy, and we made a choice that would impact our lives forever.
What I remember is walking into the abortion clinic and seeing many girls that looked just like me, and none of them were happy. They were all just as broken as I was. We were all alone, we were all ashamed, and we were all there because we felt like we didn’t have any other choice. That decision and that moment set the tone for the rest of my life. When it was my turn, they took me back and laid me on a table, and I remember when I woke up, I asked them if it was a boy or a girl. I was sobbing; I was completely destroyed!
When the topic of abortion became a political hotbed and people began praising their “choice” for the fact that life had worked out better for them, I realized we weren’t telling the truth. Another perspective needed to be told. At that time, I felt God place a calling on my heart. I wanted to write a book that included stories of women with the same experience as my own. A story that included shame, guilt, devastation, and eventual healing. Because I had no idea where to begin, I called my church. They recommended I contact Assurance. Surely there would be women there who would share their stories. What happened after that changed my life. The incredibly loving staff at Assurance recommended I take a program they offered for post-abortive women called ReKnew. As soon as I walked through the door, I just felt loved. I wanted to bring healing to other women, and I was the one who was healed through this post-abortive support group.
During that process, God revealed to me that my baby was a little girl and that she is in Heaven with Him. I know that she loves me, she feels like her purpose is being fulfilled because of this redemption process in my life, and she is going to make a difference in the world.
What I would say to Chastity, my daughter in Heaven, is I love you wholly and completely, and I will hold you one day the way you deserve to be held by your mother. But until then, you stay with my Heavenly Father, and I will see you again. I love you.
Kim is just one of the former clients who shared their personal Assurance story in our banquet video this year. To hear from her and the others featured, go to aflbanquet.org and watch the client video.
